Noah Kahan Confronts Seat-Soiling at Tour Opener

Noah Kahan launched the North American leg of The Great Divide Tour last night at Philadelphia’s Citizens Bank Park with a plea that no performer should have to make: if you need to use the bathroom, leave your seat.

The request came after a Reddit user detailed an incident that occurred one row in front of them in section AA. According to the account, an attendee defecated in their pants and then began picking pieces of solid waste out and placing them on the floor, attempting to stomp the material flat while pretending nothing was happening. Security was eventually flagged.

Kahan addressed the situation on Twitter, writing, “If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom … there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that.” He added that he once soiled himself onstage in Charlottesville, but attributed that to artistic commitment.

The episode mirrors a recent conversation sparked by Olivia Rodrigo, who noted that some concertgoers wear adult diapers to avoid missing songs. Kahan’s crowd appears to have taken the idea further, skirting even the premise of containment. The singer had already spent part of the week asking fans to stop stealing the road sign from his hometown. Managing audience bowel movements now joins the list of unforeseen tour responsibilities.