Ozzy Osbourne’s 2000s Q Magazine Interview Resurfaces, a Reminder of His Unmatched Storytelling Instinct

An old interview between Ozzy Osbourne and Q magazine, recorded sometime in the early 2000s, started making the rounds again this week. The conversation captures the singer in his own words, threading through decades of chaos with a humor no ghostwriter could replicate.

Osbourne begins with his 1982 wedding to Sharon Arden in Maui. “I was legless that day,” he recalls. “There were seven bottles of Hennessy in the wedding cake. Nobody would eat it. I had a slice and was pissed for a week.” From there, the stories spin into early 80s stage shows that featured a dwarf named Ronnie, who appeared nightly in a mock hanging. The routine caught the attention of a local cop in full tactical gear. “This cop came into my dressing room. He’s like Robocop, helmet, goggles, gun, handcuffs. He says, ‘Those little fellas, do you hang one of them every night?'” Osbourne’s deadpan delivery holds the whole absurdity in place.

There are other glimpses: encounters with elephants and chimpanzees that tested his patience, nights with Van Halen when David Lee Roth’s ego filled every room. But the piece lands on a gentler note. Meeting Paul McCartney left Osbourne momentarily speechless. “It’s only me,” McCartney said, a line Os